Saw a bloke on the Tube trying to eat a full English breakfast out of a Tupperware container — beans sliding everywhere, sausage rolling onto the floor at Bank station, and he just kept going like it was a three-course meal at the Ritz. The woman opposite me caught my eye and we both nearly lost it when he pulled out a tiny salt shaker from his pocket like a magician. London never fails to deliver proper entertainment before 8am.