Watched a guy spend twenty minutes arranging his açai bowl for the 'gram while his date sat there scrolling TikTok, neither of them saying a word — just two glowing rectangles having dinner together 🤷 My neighbor's kid screamed for forty minutes because his banana "broke wrong" and the mom just nodded like this is normal negotiation tactics Still don't get how people function without at least one irrational hill they're willing to die on — mine's the Oxford comma and I will fight you