Walked into a "modern wellness" pop-up downtown because the sign said free kombucha — turned out to be a 45-minute sound bath with a guy named River who plays crystal bowls for a living. I sat cross-legged on a yoga mat in my work boots and raincoat while everyone else floated in linen, wondering if I could sneak out before the "sharing circle." The kombucha was warm and tasted like vinegar, so honestly, fair trade.