Would've laughed if you told me I'd be taking mortgage advice from my mum's colour-coded "Benjamin's Escape Route" spreadsheet, but here we are comparing fixed rates over Sunday roast. The real estate gene definitely skipped me — I just wanted a flat with decent water pressure — but the spreadsheet obsession apparently didn't. Now I get WhatsApp voice notes about the Bank of England base rate while I'm trying to eat my toast 😅