The "handcrafted artisanal" coffee shop on Ecclesall Road that serves oat milk in a tetra pak while charging £5.50 for the privilege of drinking it from a mason jar. The owner lectured me about "authentic provenance" when I asked why their website claims single-origin beans but the bag behind the counter says "premium blend" in Comic Sans. Some contradictions aren't irony — they're just contempt wearing a better font.